The Craziest Thing !

*nodding* uh-ah. Yes! the craziest thing is actually turning my life upside down. If I have the power to move mountains or power to build a castle in just a day, I would happily do that. But unfortunately, I don't. The feeling I have now is killing me to death. Even I don't have the power to move mountain, I still have power to change me. Change the way I am thinking. Change my attitude. But it is way too hard for me.

Yaa, people might say I am type of a person who don't know how to be thankful. Even many said to me already..."hey, accept the reality lah" or even "ko beruntung oh dapat tempat sendiri" and even worse "siapa yang tulung ko dapat sini? sioknya, nda payah risau cari tempat stay, transport..buli save byk oh". Wake up people! Face the differences between me and you! Take it or leave it but I'm not a little girl anymore, that I am ready to challenge myself to experience the bitter and sweet of life.

Honestly saying, I am getting bored with the environment here, I mean 22 years grown up in here was enough for me. I love my job, but (okay, now I sound like making excuses) I need a new environment in order to maintain myself with high enthusiasm. It is time for me to discover new things in life with new place, to make a new impression about any other things that I have not experience yet. This, my home here will be a place for me to stay on school holiday (if I were posted out from here lah kunun). But now seems I have to forget it!

I hate that I have to face the thing that I swear I never wanted to do. You find no place to hide and at the end of the day the kids you teaching are actually your first cousin, your second cousin, your cousin's daughter, an old friend's son and the next thing you found that your mother punya employee punya daughter called you "eh Cikgu..." at your mother's stall. I am totally not ready to be seen as a teacher (I mean a real teacher in school) here in my hometown.

And here I am...complaining about life. A friend of mine once said that we all go through a hurricane, but after that God will give us rainbow and sun to shine our brighter days. Linked it to my situation, I keep on asking 'Until when?' 

Till then. Cheers and love.

Wake-up Call.

Few days ago, I received a news about my posting. If I were given an option, of course I'll choose not to get that news. I am posted to my old primary school, five mins from home. Think you wanna tell that I'm crazy but yeah I'm upset about it. Why? Because I'm hoping that I'll get posted to a place that far from my home and I'll be much happier if that school is somewhere in P3 or P2. Not because the allowance but I really wanna try to find a life in there that I think it would be so much exciting and challenging.

Sometimes God gives you a 'NO' and didn't gives you what you want, doesn't mean He do not love and care, because what we want is not always what we need, while He knows what we need and what is best for us.

Deo Gratias.